Form and formless: the shape of water

Form and formless

Even in the Old Testament, we see numerous examples of God showing us that forms are only temporary pointers to the formless. I was dreaming about this last night. In my dream, I was reminded that when Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt, people began to grumble and complain, asking, "Why are we following this madman Moses out into the desert? We are going to die. Slavery was better than this..." So God appeared to them in a formless form, right? He appeared as a Cloud of Smoke by day and a Pillar of Fire by night. Interesting that God chose a shifting, ethereal form which could not be held or sculpted, eh? Even then, the people still wanted a solid form to worship. They made the golden calf with the help of Aaron. It's such a human mindset, isn't it, to want to cling to something external to feel content?

I also dreamed about the story of Jacob (later named Israel) and his twin brother Esau. In the story, Jacob convinces Esau to give up his birthright. And Esau readily consents. Why? And why was Esau then furious later when Jacob tricked his father into giving his blessing to him instead of Esau? I never understood this weird dynamic before. Why was Jacob, a deceiver and manipulator, considered the hero of this story?

 Not that I condone lying and manipulation, but I think I'm beginning to understand...maybe. It's not so much a story about Jacob as it is a cautionary tale about Esau. Esau was so caught up in his own head, his "identity" as a mighty hunter, his thought patterns. So he goes out hunting for big game for days on end, alone. Esau has hung his whole identity on this image of himself and others' image of him as a great hunter, the guy who is capable of taking care of business, the guy who gets things done, the winner, the big, good-looking athlete. We know from the story that he is hot tempered, easily angered, complaining. And when he fails at his task, his self image is shattered. He comes home, really hungry, and finds his little twin cooking with momma. Jacob has a pot of lentils. When Jacob says that he'll trade the food for Esau's birthright, Esau readily agrees. It had to be a joke, right? Just sibling rivalry? But this rivalry went deep. And Esau’s fatal flaw, so to speak, is that he glibbly trades the intangible glory of "birthright" for a pot of beans. Here is where the verse "Man does not live on bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God" comes into play. Esau only looked to the external forms to sustain him, to satisfy him. He readily gave up the intangible for something external and tangible. He traded eternal glory for something temporary. He later regrets that choice, but according to their own traditions, what's done is done, no take-backs.

I dreamed also about Cain and Abel, another sibling rivalry, at least it was in Cain's head. In this story, too, one brother is content, serving at home, doing what he does with joy, while the other is caught up in the blame/shame/complain game in his own head. The "rule" or directive was that they should bring the first fruits (the best of the best, too) as a sacrifice to God. It was even supposed to be a perfect lamb. Abel wasn't into animal husbandry but into growing fruits and veg. And he gave joyfully of the best of the first fruits to God, the immortal, invisible one. Cain raised the sheep. But he didn't see the point in giving a perfectly good lamb to an invisible God. He grumbled and complained and fussed and got angrier every time his mind dwelled on it. He festered in his mind. Why should I give up something perfectly good? Why not give the lamb who is lame or stillborn? Who will know? I'm not giving up MY hard work for nothing!

Abel went about with joy, gladly giving the best as a sacrifice, while Cain grumbled and gave the least that he could. And when the day came that God accepted Abel's vegetarian sacrifice over Cain's stingy "meat" sacrifice (which technically was supposed to be the proper sacrifice), Cain lost it. He became completely unhinged. So lost in his thought patterns of complaining and making excuses for himself and trying to prove himself "in the right" that he decided in his heart to kill his brother. Of course! That's the only solution when you are caught up in the form of your thought patterns! Because changing an external, i.e., getting rid of your brother, is the logical solution to an internal problem, right? So, rather than deal with his internal issues by removing his attachments to the self-identity or the egoic self, he removed his brother...permanently.  Murder.  He was so consumed by his thoughts of jealousy and rage and his sense of offense (totally imagined according to the story), that he killed his brother, rather than deal with his own heart problem, the disease of his rotting soul.  Epic fail!

This is where the forms, or our inordinate dependence upon forms, fails us.  It is the great disconnect that we often speak of in sustainability.  The great disconnect occurs when we rely upon externals to try to fix what is essentially an internal or spiritual problem.  

This is not a type of gnosticism which says that only spiritual things are good and all material things or physical things are bad.  Again, the forms which are sometimes physical are there to point us in the right direction and indeed are a part of our identity, too.  But forms are only temporary pointing to the eternal formless one in us.  They are intrinsically tied together, but at the same time, the form is not the formless.  It is and it is not at the same time.  This is the paradox.  It is like trying to describe the shape of water.  If water is in my pool, you could say that water is the shape of my pool.  It conforms to the form it is in.  But at the same time, water is formless in its liquid or gas states.  The formless cannot be described only by the form it is in.  In the same way, my identity form (whether body or thought patterns and emotions) “holds” the formless (spirit) in me, and is a part of me, but at the same time, the eternal formless part of me cannot be described by my body or my ego identity.  This is the paradox of the form and the formless, like the shape of water.