The Spiritual Practice of Gratitude

So, this morning, I find myself having one of those imaginary conversations in my head...you know the kind.  You feel judged by someone, so in your head, you have these imaginary repartees.  “Well, if you feel so superior, how come you do such and such?  And why is it that when I do something, it’s wrong, but if you do it, it’s right?”  Blah blah blah.  We all do it from time to time.  We have imaginary arguments, in which of  course, we are always in the right!

So, this morning, after feeling the palpable judgment of a family member, because really, who knows how to judge us most and push our buttons more than a family member, right?  I found myself having these imaginary fights....and my energy became more angry and self-righteous.  And I caught myself!  Gasp!  I was imagining a conflict which may or may not really exist.  I’ve got to stop this right now. 

So, I did what I always do, when I find myself in such a negative state.  I shifted my consciousness to the practice of gratitude.  Now, some pessimists might tell you that this is pointless.  Maybe it is.  But I find that I’d rather focus my mind and energy on something uplifting rather than imaginary fights in my head, which can only lead to real-time arguments as long as I keep dwelling on the perceived injustices and rehashing my own self-righteous arguments over and over.  It’s bound to come out in the future if I keep hanging on to and replaying these same perceived offenses.  

So, what am I grateful for today?  I always start with the basics, things that are concrete are easier to remember.  I have a job, a roof over my head, a car to drive, and enough money to help others, too.  I am healthy.  I have amazing, kind, generous, compassionate, and creative friends.  I have deep friendships, the kind that have lasted decades, in spite of my own misjudgments and weaknesses.  I have a dog.  Well, my sister has a dog which has become my responsibility.  Dogs are great.  No judgment there.  Just unmerited affection....and the love of treats helps, too.  

I have gorgeous weather today!  Okay, I don’t HAVE it, but you know what I mean.  It’s a cool, beautiful morning! 

I have a guitar, a piano to play, a ukulele, a violin, access to music....I’m grateful for inspiring authors and books which challenge me to change my own bad habits.  I have the ability to change.  I’m thankful for my younger sister who helps keep me grounded and centered and still challenges me to continue to grow, to examine my own assumptions.

I’m thankful for the universe.  

I’m thankful for the way gratitude changes my perceptions and my expectations and my attitudes.  It changes my relationships to healthier states, because I stop focusing on what irritates me about them.  Instead, gratitude helps me focus on what I appreciate about my family.  

I’m going for a hike.  I will spend that time meditating on what I am grateful for today.  I know that by the time I return, I will be a changed person.  And that is the goal, isn’t it?  To engage in spiritual practice with the goal of being transformed, changed into something or someone more glorious than my current state, and to produce good fruit in keeping with my intentions.