Kindness and Gentleness

I still keep thinking of that quote by Mark Twain which says that "kindness is the language which even the deaf can hear and the blind can see". We often think of movies like Pay It Forward when we think of kindness or Random Acts of Kindness. Just doing something nice for someone else is so rewarding. I can't seem to stop humming an old song: It's your kindness which leads us to repentance, Oh Lord. Knowing that you love us, no matter what we do, makes us want to love you."(Leslie Phillips)

Titus 3:3-5 says we used to be foolish and disobedient too. We were deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. But we also lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating each other. BUT when we saw the kindness and love of God, we were saved, not because of anything we did, but because God is merciful.

A gentle answer, we are told, can turn away anger or wrath. Wrath always makes me think of some kind of determined, destructive vengeance. Philippians 4:5 says "let your gentleness be evident to all." Peter, who is probably best known for sticking his foot in his mouth, often, was also a truly humble guy. He recognized when he was stubborn or opinionated and repented. He knew what it was to suffer for the sake of Christ. And after all the torture and hardship he endured, he still writes: "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have. BUT do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander."

We think of gentle-hearted people; genuinely kind people who seem to do no harm to others. So often their gentleness is more than preventing cruelty to animals or some such kind behavior, but it most often involves the way they respond to others. Gentleness doesn't have to win an argument. It doesn't have to try to prove itself "right". It only seeks to softly answer another. It seeks the good of the other person.

Frankly, I used to watch Hell's Kitchen with Chef Gordon Ramsey, but had to stop watching. I can't watch a grown man yell at, scream at, berate and demean another human being. I realize Mr. Ramsey had a hard life and probably had very few role models, so I don't fault him. But I just cannot sit and watch him verbally beat up another. I think, "How sad that he doesn't realize how much harder people would work for him if he built them up, sought their good, and treated them with gentleness." Gentleness is NOT weakness. On the contrary, it takes great strength, incredible self-control to turn away wrath or anger.

In reality, a gentle answer is a wise answer. There are two kinds of wisdom: the world's wisdom which tells us to "look out for number one", and then there's God's wisdom which sees beyond the immediate to the long-term results of our words and actions. James wrote (3: 13ff): "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such 'wisdom' does not come from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. (Yikes!) For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. BUT the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."

I find it interesting that James didn't say ambition is wrong. He distinctly said "selfish ambition." Wanting to do great things or make a contribution is not wrong or evil. But selfish motivations cause trouble in our relationships, in our lives.

Oh, how many times do my selfish motivations get me in trouble? It's usually my words which get me in trouble. But James is adamant about this, I deceive myself if I think I'm a religious person and I don't keep a tight rein on my tongue. James says my religion is worthless if I can't get my words under control. Here's a wise saying I should pay more attention to: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life God desires. (James 1:19-20)

The good news is that we can walk in gentleness and kindness. We CAN control our words and attitudes. The more we get around Jesus, the more we'll be like him because we'll see him as he is. Then we can be assured that we can respond like Paul to harsh treatment. He learned to bless when others cursed him, to endure when persecuted, and to answer kindly when slandered. (I Cor.4: 12-13) He knew that being in relationship with Christ brings incredible freedom! And God reflects his amazing glory in us, transforming us into his likeness with ever-increasing glory.

In other words, the more we hang out with Jesus, the more we are transformed into something amazing! And the more we are transformed by love, the more we recognize that we are like earthy vases. Inside us is this incredible treasure which just shines and glows and makes people want to be around us! But the more we experience Love, the more we realize that we are just clay jars. The amazing thing is the treasure...(Hint: the treasure is God's love for people). Paul said it like this, "We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."

Or put it like this, we are just plain, wooden treasure chests. No one gets excited over the treasure chest (except for the Antiques Road Show). The thing they get excited about is the TREASURE that's inside!

Yay! The more we walk in love and gentleness and kindness, the more people want to be around us. Not only that, but we get to show them that the love, kindness and gentleness comes from God and not from us! Now THAT is good news!