It is unfortunate in any situation, whether in the guise of religion or education or corporation or whatever, when leaders use a prescriptive approach. I've been guilty of this myself.
A prescriptive approach usually comes in the form of language such as, "Should", "Must", "Have to", "It's my way or the highway" or "You have to do it such-and-such a way or else..." or "There's a right way to do things and wrong way to do things..." This dualistic approach (right OR wrong, left OR right, black OR white, good OR bad) sets people up for failure, not meeting expectations, not living up to someone else's standards, guilt, shame, and grief.
The prescriptive approach in teaching says, "You must learn what I tell you to learn and how I tell you to learn it." In the corporate world, it may sound like..."This is the way we've always done it." It even invades our cultural expectations, "But WE don't do it like that. My way is the best way. Everyone SHOULD do it my way."
I have to laugh, because MOST adults begin to transform their narrow view of things as they approach the age of 18. We begin to question why we do what we do, why we believe what we believe, is it truth for us? We begin to differentiate ourselves from our parents' values and norms. We see that the world doesn't fall into Either/Or categories.
Unless you are like my old friend, Bob....
I remember camping with him many times over the years. On one particular occasion, he actually told me that I had heated up the water (to be used to wash our dishes) wrong! I laughed! He was dead serious. At which point, I asked him if I had the basic concept of boiling correct: fill pan with water, apply heat to the pan, water comes to boil. He still insisted that HIS way of bringing water to a boil was somehow different than my way and that HIS way was better. (I'm still unsure to this day how our ways differed at all!) Bob earned the nicknames of Vanilla Dictator (for insistence that HE was the standard of normal and that everyone else should think and act like him), Fluid Intake Police (for his insistence on a road trip that my roommate could not and should not purchase a large drink for the road, lest she have to stop along the way to pee, causing delays for the rest of the group), and Herr Smith** (another reference to his dictator style). ** I've changed my old friend's name to protect his identity and also in faith that perhaps even he has opened his perspectives a bit in the last few years.
It's a human condition, this wanting everything to be black OR white, right OR wrong. Wouldn't the world be easier to manage, to navigate if everything was clearly marked? But it isn't. Modern day (and I'm sure our ancient brothers and sisters, too) christians have lived in the realm of Either/Or for too long. We have forgotten that Jesus was the Paradox King. The paradox says things are Both/And, both Either/Or. Didn't Jesus say that one who seeks to save his life will lose it, while the one who loses his life will save it? That's the paradox. If you lose, you also gain. If you gain, you also lose. It's BOTH losing AND gaining. It's not either/or.
What is sad to me is that after all these years, we're still writing formulas for living. Do this. Don't do that. It's the same thing Jesus held against the Pharisees, not that they kept the law, but that they kept it to the exclusion of others, to the adding to the burden of others, to the exclusion of mercy and love and grace and kindness and peace.
But this is the danger inherent even in coming out of an abusive relationship like so many have had at Teen Mania, Open Bible Fellowship, pick a church or school or institution... the danger is that WE, in turn, begin prescribing a different way to live. We say, "Manipulative pastor or teacher or administrator, your way is wrong. Everyone else, follow me! My way is better!" And now, we have made a prescription out of our experience for everyone else to follow.
In Chela Sandoval's (2000) dissertation on the Methodology of the Oppressed, she would call this meta-ideologizing. It is the term used to describe replacing one ideology for another. This is the danger: in our zeal to break away from oppression and to resist it and to renounce it, we form our own ideology and condemn our oppressors and establish a new form of oppression. This is the point where those who were oppressed now become the oppressors! When our old oppressors don't see the error of their ways, we begin to persecute them for not seeing the world as we do, for not following our ways, our prescription for life.
This is that delicate spiderweb on which we try to balance our lives, our being... following Christ without making our experiences the dictation and prescription for everyone else. Here the old Greek saying plays out well: "To thine own self be true." To which I might add: "And stop worrying about everyone else. Extend enough grace to them to allow them figure it out on their own, in their own time, in their own way."
I'm still trying to make a decision on where I will spend my summer. I hear Oregon is gorgeous (breathtakingly perfect in summer) so I hope to take advantage of weekends between now and July 1. Then summer school will be over and I hope to hit the road.
I've been accepted to a volunteer position in southern Spain (the Andalucia region) to work with Sunseed, an intentional community (ecovillage) on the edge of the desert for 6 weeks. I had hoped to go on to Morocco from there to begin setting up contacts for future projects and to work with indigenous tribes along the Sahara. Still trying to work out details.
I had also considered trekking the ancient via francigena from Canterbury to Rome (or at least to the Gran San Bernardo Pass in Switzerland), taking my dog, Sam, along with me. I'm still tempted to do that... I've been entertaining the concept of silence and what that means in the context of oppression. Silence can be a profound tool of resistance (like when Jesus did not answer Pilate) or a tool used to oppress (like the Code of Silence, don't talk about abuse, pretend nothing bad is happening).
I have a feeling that I would have a lot of silence along the old pilgrimage trail.
I've also been tossing around the idea of meeting with the Achuar Indians of the Andes (Ecuador and Peru) since I met Lynne Twist, cofounder of the Pachamama Alliance (www.pachamama.org) in Boston on April 10. Since then, I've gone on to one of the Pachamama Alliance seminars called "Awakening the Dreamer: Changing the Dream". So much of my own view of the world has shifted since I came to Portland at the end of September. If you had asked me then if I could envision myself being a facilitator at a Global Summit for the concept of Sufficiency, I would have laughed and probably thought you were a kook. And yet, I did indeed help facilitate discussions at MIT in Cambridge, MA just 2 weekends ago at the Global Sufficiency Summit.
All I know is that God is good. He directs my path in better ways than I ever could. I'm trying to stay open and flexible to his leading and trust that I will be where he wants me, when he wants me, meeting and encouraging those he entrusts to walk along this path, and that I'll have everything I need when I need it. It's a good place to be.
